I just need a place to share my thoughts. I have had many moments where I thought it was the last straw but this summer is about to do me in. I feel like such a failure of a mother and housewife. My house is out of control!!!!! My kids are out of control!!!!! After having success in teaching, I never thought in a million years that I would be this horrible as a mother. I can't control Liesel and unfortunately Caedmon (even though he is such a peaceful child by nature) is starting to be hard to control. Jensen is the only kid who I may have hope with  but even then the terrible twos have started and it gets so embarrasing when you are trying to stop him from doing something in a store and he screams at the tops of his lungs. It is so fun when people stare at your struggles as a mother. That makes is so much better.
I dont know what else to do. No matter how much I try to fix things around here, none of it ever seems to work. I know that I have trouble being consistent and maybe that is the problem.
I am grateful for my life and I really do not like to complain but I am so frustrated with our circumstances. Craig is helpful but overall, he is so unmotivated. Why doesnt her care more for this family? Does he not realize how hard this affects me emotionally and our children.  He is the head of the household and it is his responsibility to make sure things get fixed.
Because of his ability to work and stay focuses, we got so in SO MUCH debt doing that business that he had to do!!!!!
You ask him if he did something and he says: I forgot! Nice
He has to lose weight and had high blood pressure, but yet he blames his lack of dedication to exercise as my problem because I have not woken him up in the morning. REALLY????????????
I am so scared about our finances. I am so tired of worrying about him and honestly, I do not feel confident and reassured about Craig's ability to manage finances. He has not proven himself to me in the ten years of our marriage. 
I am worried about my health. I got so worked up that I worry I will either have a panic attack or a heartattack.
I need this blog because noone even my mom and Craig seem to understand how badly this is bothering me and how I cannot live like this anymore.